This, ladies and gentlemen, is my last batch of ice cream ever. It was chocolate.

My employees are devastated I am leaving. And why not? I'm amazing.

Last night was the get-together for the podcast thing I applied for. The guy putting this together wanted to see how the people he picked functioned as a group. It was my chance to shine, to show how funny and entertaining I can be.

And I blew it.

I arrived ten minutes early, and I was the last to arrive. It really threw me off. Instead of meeting everyone as they arrived, I had to settle for a quick name exchange. Michael, the guy setting everything up, and his wife started the conversation going by asking questions of everyone. Gradually natural conversation took the place of forced questions, and unfortunately I was left behind. I simply didn't have anything interesting to contribute to the conversation. I made a few comments here and there, but nothing to really make myself stand out.

When it all ended, and I drove home, I was pretty upset. I still am, actually. I wanted to be involved in this, and I completely and utterly failed in what I was attempting. Admittedly, talking with total strangers is not my strong suit, but I was hoping I could do a better job than what actually happened. Michael is supposed to e-mail everyone in a few days to let them know who made the final cut, and I have no doubt as to whether or not my name will be on that list.

I came home and dreamed that Michael and his wife were telling me that I didn't do a terrible job, so it's at least nice to know that my subconcious doesn't think I sucked.

I'm now in the home stretch at Cold Stone. I work a double shift today (oh joy!), I close tomorrow night, then I have Sunday off (unless something catastrophic happens), I work a little bit on Monday, and then on Tuesday I work a day shift. And then I'm done. And as of yet, I have nothing else to go to. I'm really trying to refrain from freaking out about it, but it's bugging me.

And off to work I go...

I'm still looking for a job, a mere 6 days before I leave my current one. Things have been so busy at Cold Stone that I have not had the energy to look for a job when I'm away from work. Still, I've applied at a few places. I interviewed at Best Buy last week, but they never called me back for the second interview, so I'm guessing a career with Best Buy is not in my future.

There's a company in Charlotte that's been advertising online for people that can write in PHP, which is a primarily web-based programming language. This is something I can do, so since I have a brand-new spiffy resume (courtesy of Mrs. Orlando, thank you) I sent that in on Monday night. Tuesday afternoon they called me back to conduct a phone interview. The guy I spoke with wanted to know my experience (which, unfortunately, is not a whole lot), and wanted me to tell him how far advanced I was, on a scale from 1 to 10. Sadly, I was only a 5. I know a lot, but there's a ton more I don't know. He did ask for some code samples at the end, and I e-mailed them to him last night. I'd really like to work for this place, since it would give me real web site building experience to put on my resume, but if I work for them I doubt I'd be able to further my education. I've already paid the $50 application fee to UNCC, so I'm not too keen to walk away from that. I'd also need to move to South Charlotte, and while I don't mind, it would make it inconvenient to maintain friendships I have here in Concord.

The other thing I'm looking into is a job as a bank teller at BB&T. At Cold Stone, we bank at BB&T, and I've gotten to know the ladies that work there. When I told them I was leaving Cold Stone, they suggested a teller job because apparently there's a shortage. Even better for me, there's a shortage in Concord, so if I work with them there would be no pesky driving 30 minutes to work every day. Unfortunately there's the whole boredom factor...who wants to count money all day? Especially if you can't take any with you? However, the pay is decent and would let me move out of the place I am at, which is something I need to do within the next few months.

There is a ton of stuff to do at work today, so I am going to head in an hour early in order to finish it all. Six more days and I'm done with this! Hooray!

The mullet is alive and well, folks

Employee 1: I just read the gayest book ever!
Employee 2: What was it called?
Employee 1: Death of a Salesman

I found the following e-mail waiting for me when I got up this morning.

*****

Ben,

We'd like for you to participate in the final interview process for the podcast. I'll send more information at the beginning of next week.


*****

This is good news.

The next few weeks are going to be awful. I'm supposed to work for the next 14 days straight. Under normal circumstances, I start getting tired after 5 or 6 days in a row. By the end of this stretch, I'll definitely be exhausted.

My boss has not yet been able to find someone to take my spot. She has an interview on Tuesday with someone, and if that someone gets the job, she mentioned letting me leave a few weeks earlier than my proposed October 30 end date. This is kind of scary in that I don't have another job to go to yet.

After I left work today, I applied for a few different jobs online. Hopefully something pans out. I wanted to get out of retail, but if that's what it takes to survive, that's what I'll do.

I'm seriously considering the idea of heading back to school. I have an Associate's Degree in computer programming; I could have a Bachelor's in 2 years. Combined with my management experience, it could land me a computer job that pays decently. The other thing is it would be much easier to meet single, eligible women than it currently is for me.

However, computer programming is not what I want to do as a career. I want to make films. I'm working toward it as well as I can, by doing things that don't cost money (like writing), but there comes a point where you simply have to get something done to show that you're making progress. If I put it off too long, eventually I won't do it. That is a fate I want to avoid.

The other fate I want to avoid is struggling financially my entire life. Part of that comes from having good financial habits, but the other part is actually having enough money.

There are so many sides to this, and none of them are simple. Plus I'm tired, and this combination never makes for good decision-making.

I really hope I don't get the boot from my job before I'm ready to go. If this happens, though, I know God will take care of me somehow. He has (and will) continue to provide for the things I need. It slowly gets easier, but I still hate the stress.

My first real job was at a radio station. I was a dj for a Southern Gospel radio station. Even though I hated (and still rather despise) Southern Gospel music, it was either work for them or work for my dad, where I probably would not have been paid at all. It really wasn't that difficult a choice to make.

The radio station, WGHB, was a pretty fun place to work. I didn't like the music format, but overall I enjoyed what I did. Eventually I was able to start my own radio show aimed at Christian teenagers called "The Vortex." I've managed to hang on to one episode from the year-and-a-half run, but listening to it now makes me cringe. Partially it's because of my viewpoint on things and my approach to issues, but also because my voice hadn't entirely changed and sounded pretty high-pitched.

Anyway, during my job search I came across an ad by someone with a local radio station, saying that they were looking for volunteers to be in a podcast they are trying to start. I expressed interest and was asked to send in my resume. I did so, and we spent the next week trying to get a meeting set up. Yesterday I met with the man trying to get this podcast together. His name is Michael, and he runs the overnight shift.

Apparently his ad has generated a huge response, and right now he and some other people are trying to interview all the people that have responded. He said he's planning to send out e-mails on Monday (the 15th) to let people know if they made the cut or not.

The interview lasted about 25 minutes, and I think it went well. Michael made several positive comments and I think that overall I made a good impression.

I do need to stress that this would be a totally a volunteer position; I am still looking for a real job. If the podcast is successful, and achieves the goals Michael has in mind for it, there's the possibility of some financial compensation, but those are a lot of ifs.

For now, though, I think it would be fun to be involved in something of this nature.

If only my real job search was going so well...

It's generally not a good sign when the place you interviewed on Friday posted the same help wanted ad an hour after your interview. Back to the drawing board...

My friend Christina wrote an excellent post last night about grace, and I wanted to share it with everyone that reads this blog. All 3 of you.